Clueless & Breathless 5K, 10K & Half

Clueless & Breathless 5K, 10K & Half Race Information

<p>December 20, 2025 · 7:00 a.m. PST · 6846 Owensmouth Ave, Canoga Park, CA</p> <p>Like, ugh, are you seriously going to miss this?<br />Step into your platform shoes and strut into the Clueless &amp; Breathless 5K, 10K &amp; Half—a 90s high school holiday run bursting with mall glam, holiday sparkle, and way too much lip gloss.</p> <p>Presented by Jed &amp; Ted’s Excellent Races</p> <p>Whether you’re a Beverly Hills princess, a debate team queen, or just trying to burn off those holiday carbs, this race is your chance to be totally buggin’—in the best way.</p> <ul><li> Clueless &amp; Breathless 5K &#x1f380; This one&#39;s as quick as a shopping trip to The Galleria. Bonus if you run in plaid.</li><li>Totally Buggin’ 10K &#x1f485; Longer than Cher&#39;s holiday gift list—and twice as fierce.</li><li>The Alaïa Half Marathon &#x1f460; Because it&#39;s like, a totally important designer challenge. Don’t get mugged—stay hydrated.</li><li>The Multiverse Holiday Shopping Spree (Virtual) &#x1f6cd;️ Run any distance, from anywhere—even the food court. Your medal ships post-haste.</li></ul> <p>Expect mallcore energy, glam cheer zones, 90s jams, and a sprinkle of holiday chaos.<br />Costumes strongly encouraged—extra credit for fur-trimmed Santa hats and feather pens.</p> <p> <br />&#x1f4e6; Multiverse Option (Virtual Runners Welcome!)<br />Run virtually anytime from Dec 20–22, and we’ll mail your medal faster than a boyfriend makeover montage.</p> <p>This is a Jed &amp; Ted’s Excellent Race—fun, fast, and full of nostalgia.</p> <p>Sign up now. This run is like, totally important.</p> <h6> <br />Parody Disclaimer<br />This race is a fan-made parody event inspired by 90s pop culture and is not affiliated with or endorsed by any official trademark holders.</h6>